Unexpected friend

Waking up with Tori Amos’- Sleeps with butterflies, looking out the window –Ampang is still sleeping and I am missing someone.

Last night before I went to sleep, I watched Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind. Sebagaimana Joel (Jim Carrey) wants to delete all the memories he has with Clementine (Kate Winslet), sebegitu juga I nak delete you dalam sistem I. Tapi, semakin Joel cuba untuk memadam Clementine, he is fear of losing her forever. Begitu jugalah I rasa. I can’t accept the fact that once you came into my life then you’re gone. Sudah I cuba untuk buat you faham, sepertinya you masih tidak faham. Biarlah, kalau sekali you tidak faham, selamanya you tidak akan faham sebab I have learned that you are lembab haha.

I know am acting strange when I realise I’m about to lose you to someone else. Jealous is a strong word, afraid is more accurate. Yeah, am just afraid of you – giving up me. Entahlah, susah I nak ada faith in someone. Sebab tu I keep pushing people away before I get hurt by them. And, if you terkeliru yang I nak jadi someone you, believe me, I tidak akan jadi your someone.

I harap you faham perangai I macam mana. Kalau I sense that you’re leaving, I’ll immediately leave you. I kesal dengan apa yang berlaku tapi, shit just happens. You are a good friend. Tak pernah gagal to make my day and always there to talk to. So, I hope you faham nilah perangai I. I don't want to lose you either and I tak tahu you tahu atau tidak tapi, I sayang you juga

Macam mana will be my way of showing you, you'll know yourself and I still haven't figured out your way of showing me

.

p.s. if only you could listen more of what I want to say and sensitif ke I maybe you'll understand me