Break my heart in two

Fed-up!
Yeah with excuses, the reasons why, confusion, loneliness, boredom, drama - with everything and almost everyone.

Why can't things in life be straight? Do what you say, say what you do! Susah sangat ke tu?
Don't turn around anything because you are fucking confusing me and once am confused, I will be pissed bloody off.

I don't feel content and full either. Do I have to leave everything I have with everyone?
Or maybe I should just get away alone! Nobody knows but me. No one will ever understand even when they say they do. Don't even call yourself a friend when you are not even close to understand me.

What's left for me?
I need a shoulder to cry on but, when I look around, am on my own. On my own!!!
Am so stressed out. I want to cry, as loud, as hard, as much as I could.
Am done talking. I just need to cry my heart all out.
Not everything is about everyone. I want everything is about me, HANDLE ME WITH CARE BECAUSE I'M FRAGILE!!

Tolonglah don't talk shit. Jangan cakap lain buat lain. Jangan juga buat empty promises and giving me false hope. Or... don't say anything at all. Am fine with nothing at all.

p.s. come back come back wherever you are. I can't be alone no more. I need someone to give me the shoulder, the hug I long to have.

Holding on

Yes, am vainly looking out for something - something, somehow that moves me.
I know I have been moving around much but am nothing reaching any closer to my destination yet never knew where am going or eventually end up stopping.

I keep telling it's time but, when is it actually 'it's time?'.
My time will either be too late or too early and I usually end up regretting for the too-late-time.
Yeah, am waiting for the perfect time but, what is the perfect time?
There is no such time.

Friends keep asking me to forget as they believe I'll find better even they ask me, how long do I take to forget? I say, I forget for how long I have known.. that's what it takes to forget.

Surprisingly, I never give up you. Though I have hardly tried, I still can't get you off. Though it has been months and there are reasons to forget, even I have enough reason just to ditch you out of my life, but I never wish you are out of mine. I sendiri tidak tahu kenapa walaupun I keep asking myself kenapa. Frankly, i really am tawar hati and maybe sooner or later, i would just keep my life shut off of you. I hanya keep holding on to faith that maybe, someday, we would be as we used to be.. maybe, someday, insya-Allah, in god's will.